Next week marks five months that Andy has been dealing with an orbital pseudo-tumor. Not exactly the kind of anniversary you want to be celebrating.
It has been a long five months for both of us. Included in these five months are more doctors visits than I can even recall, so much uncertainty, tests, procedures, steroids, a biopsy, a whole lot of waiting and seeing, and most recently radiation. I’ve worried more in these last five months than I thought possible. I’ve been both terrified and cautiously optimistic. I’ve cried a whole lot. I will never, ever forget the way I felt when the doctor said it could be cancer. Thankfully, it was not.
Since the steroids weren’t doing their job, radiation seemed to be the best treatment option. Radiation is scary…you feel you shouldn’t have to be doing this if you don’t have cancer. But he did it, and ten treatments later he is finally done. Now the waiting begins again. Meanwhile, as a result, he has been exhausted and feeling awful. He also has a perfect red burn around his eye…picture Petey from The Little Rascals. It’s okay to laugh…he has not lost his sense of humor. I’m not sure I would have been able to keep up such a good attitude if I’d been the one going through this.
For example: a few nights ago we were sitting outside, cuddled under a blanket, enjoying a low-key evening. Out of the blue, Andy decided to list things in life that he loves. From a very long list, here are some of my favorites: warming up in the sun on the beach, eating a ripe cherry, driving a sports car on a windy road, getting back into bed in the morning, the smell of rain on warm pavement, riding a bike down a hill, and the feeling of weightlessness when you catch a wave. His list made me want to cry. Here is someone who has been struggling daily for five months, and he loves the smell of rain on pavement??? My heart aches for him. I so want him to get better.
Slowly but surely, he has been feeling improvement. His vision has gotten clearer, the pressure over his eye is lessening, and the swelling is going down. The radiation continues to work for the next several weeks, so for now, we’re keeping our fingers crossed that soon he will see the end of this long, sometimes painful, always tiresome journey.
Hopefully the next thing we’re celebrating is his complete recovery. Until then, we keep moving forward as best we can. For me, that means cooking. I’ve been trying some odds and ends lately. Shishito peppers was one of those dishes…
Blistered Shishito Peppers
Serves 4 as an appetizer
6 ounces shishito peppers
1 clove garlic, minced
1 shallot, finely chopped
1 teaspoon white miso
1 teaspoon chili garlic sauce
1 teaspoon lime juice
2-3 tablespoons canola oil
Mix miso, chili garlic sauce, and lime juice together in a small bowl.
In a large sauté pan, heat canola oil over medium-high heat until oil is very hot. Add the garlic, shallots and peppers at once, stirring to evenly distribute. Add in the miso mixture and toss to coat. Let the peppers sit without disturbing so they blister. Toss occasionally to ensure all sides are blistered. Serve immediately.
When I started this blog, I thought I would document all my hits AND misses. I’ve not really kept up with that, not because I don’t have misses (you should have tasted the cake I made the other day!), but mostly because I want this to be a place that showcases the good stuff. Also, it’s a whole lot of work to take photos of a dish I love, let alone one I’m less than thrilled with.
With these peppers, I’m on the fence. They are gorgeous and they do have a nice flavor. I can definitely see the appeal, but I guess I wouldn’t call myself their number one fan. Maybe I overdid it by eating the entire plate (they must not have been too bad, huh?). In moderation, I would happily scarf down a few prior to a meal. The peppers that got very blistered were much tastier than the others, so perhaps I should have let them blister more. I did love the overall taste of the dish, with some spice from the chili garlic sauce and a hint of spice from the peppers themselves. These are not knock-your-socks-off spicy peppers, but have just a subtle bite. Every once in a while, you will find one that hits the back of your throat and makes you cough, which is kind of fun. Overall, I don’t see myself making these weekly, but would not turn them away if they were put in front of me.
It’s very quiet in the house this morning…Andy went in to work and hopes to stay the whole day. He has been home so much lately and I have to admit that I liked it, even though the reason is less than optimal and he just sleeps all day. Of course I want nothing more than for him to be feeling one hundred percent, which means he’ll be gone all day, but I can still miss our days together, can’t I? I’ll just take this opportunity to pout a little…